It's a Known Fact
by fujikawaii10346
Summary: Alternate title: Kitty Doesn't Like To Share. Due to a mishap with a spell, John is part rabbit as Bunbert, and Dave is part cat as Nyander. Bedroom shenanigans ensue. Warnings: Light BSDM, bondage, teasing, blood, ect. Part of 'Animalistic Urges' series.


Fun Fact (1): This was written... The beginning was written at home, and the rest was written on my China trip. Holy shit, a large majority of this (read: the actual sex part) was planned out at Hong Kong Disneyland while waiting for the fireworks... As I was sitting next to my grandparents. Yeah- awkward.

Oh, and yeah. I am so fucking ashamed of this. How do you sexy dialogue? How do you pacing? How do you writing style... How do you in character. How do you description. How do you imagery without sounding like a half-assing newb?. HOW DO YOU KINKY GAY PORN? How do you second person present tense point of view. How do you proper use of italics. 8luh. I give up.

Actually, I had quite a bit of fun writing this. I hope to write a DirkJake one, and a SolKat. If you're curious as to what animal everyone else is, PM me and I'll tell you! Or if I ever get better at arting, I'll draw something!

PS: Use condoms when engaging in sexual intercourse (gay or otherwise) my beloved readers! I always forget when I write... But this time I didn't and just chose not to... You'll see. Anyways- I DO support the use of condoms.

Disclaimer: Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

Warnings: Light bondage, orgasm denial (poor babu..), light blood, BSDM, toys, half-animal body parts...

* * *

><p>You groan and turn to your side crossing your legs tightly to hopefully stifle the uncomfortable feeling that is growing within your boxers.<p>

It's too hot in here.

You undo another two buttons on your blue flannel shirt and resume your quest to fall asleep again. You are not very successful in his endeavor.

Your name is John Egbert and you are horny as fuck.

It's not a very foreign feeling, actually. It started about a week ago. There was a party at the House of Lalonde- not too big just your usual group of twenty hanging out and acting like the mature adults you all were (read: getting drunk off your asses on the liquor Mom Lalonde had lying around Lalonde Manor). But somehow, Jade got a hold of one of Rose's spellbooks.

You fell asleep next to Dave that night normally, meaning no extra ears, no tails protruding from the base of your spine, and definitely no animalistic urges (well... That last one might have been there before- just not so strong). Nope. None at all. When you woke up though... Well that's a little different.

You woke up due to the particularly intense wet dream you had had and its result: a very tight feeling in your pajama pants. Both front and back. Uh, what?

You obviously knew what was going on up front, but with some further exploration, you found a poofy tail legitimately attached to your backside. You could move it and everything.

Of course you panicked a bit a woke up Dave who took the news a little better (albeit very grumpily)- his own long tail swishing calmly. You also noticed that his hair was sticking up weird. You reached out to flatten it, when you realized that it wasn't hair. They were ears. Cat ears.

Dave was a fucking neko.

Your eyes widened and your hands shot up to the top of your head where you found two floppy pieces of fur dropping down the back of your head. How you didn't notice before would be beyond anyone. You blacked out shortly.

The next thing you remembered was Jade quite literally barking out apologies by your bedside, pointy dog ears folded down and tail tucked in between her legs. Dave looked over you two with his arms crossed and his usual blank face.

You quickly told Jade that it was (sort of) okay and shooed her off as you pulled Dave into bed to remedy the still uncomfortable situation in your pants.

You found out later from Sollux (now with a black and white striped tail) that it was normal for you to feel like that. In addition to their fight or flight instincts, it was a known fact after all that male rabbits are almost constantly horny. Scared and horny. A perfect combination.

So here you are ready to fuck like a bunny (despite just doing the deed a few hours ago), and Dave's asleep like the lazy ass cat he is.

Lucky bastard.

You plop yourself down on his thighs and start nuzzling his neck, nipping at his collar bone. "Daave..." you murmur.

He stirs a bit in response.

You frown and sit up, poking at his shade-less cheeks. "Daaave!"

He grumbles and lazily swats at your hand, "What do you want?"

"Daaave! Wake uuup!"

"No!"

"But Daaave! I'm _hoornyyyy_!"

He groans again, "Go jerk off in the bathroom!"

You hit his chest weakly with your fists, but lean back down to run your front teeth (made even larger with the effects of whatever it was that made you this way) down his neck, "But _Daaaaave_! I'm hoornyy!" you punctuate the sentence with a sharp bite and a roll of your hips followed by some apologetic licking.

Dave shoots up and hisses, ears pointing straight up and tail frayed and rigid. "_Fuck_ John!" he shouts, pushing you away with one hand and using the other to rub at the sore spot. "Your teeth hurt like a bitch!"

You pout, "I'm sorry! You made me!"

He sighs and rolls his eyes, "If we do this can I go back to sleep? No interruptions until noon?"

You nod enthusiastically and before you know it, Dave is on top of you. You yelp in surprise, but it quickly turns into a moan as his knee settles between your legs and begins to grind upward.

* * *

><p>Your name is Dave Strider and- holyshit. That sound John just made totally went straight to your boxers.<p>

It was filled with want and need, coated in desperation and heavily sprinkled with lust- with a slight undertone of adoration and love. Yeah, you got all that from one non-word. What? You're the world's top expert on the unbearably sexy side of John Egbert.

He keeps whimpering and it's all going straight down; you have no idea what past-Dave was thinking. A horny John is always a good thing.

"Nghn- D-Dave-" he half moans, half whines.

You stop moving your knee to look up at him. "Yeah?" He's blushing like mad and covering his mouth with a fist, biting down on it to keep from making too loud of a noise (wouldn't want the neighbors coming over unexpectedly). His other hand is grabbing at the sheets, knuckles white and his long ears frame his face so fucking perfectly-

He groans from the lack of movement and twitches his hips up, eyes locking with yours in a silent plea for you to do _something_.

You smirk at his desperation and place a too chaste kiss on his cute button nose. Despite being totally worth it, he _did_ wake you up. You deserve a little payback... In the form oh teasing.

Oh _yes_.

Without warning you simply get off John and pull the covers over yourself; you nudge him with your foot for emphasis. "Actually, I'm tired. We'll do this tomorrow night."

You cast a quick glance at him, and his face is fucking hilariously cute with his eyes all wide (but still a little hazy) and mouth hanging open. "Wha- but- Dave!" he half pants half shouts.

You shrug, buying your face into the pillow.

John continues gaping at you for a long while. Too long because your raging boner is now making it hard to think straight (you inwardly laugh at that thought- when were your thoughts _ever_ straight?). Finally, he sighs and settles behind you, his erection rubbing against the base of your still swaying tail. "Dave... Please?" he requests quietly. "I'll do whatever you want for the next week- starting now!" Whelp- so much for quiet.

You turn to face him, biting back a gasp when your members suddenly bump together (John isn't as successful). "Just a week?" you ask with a quirked eyebrow.

He bites his lip, "Two weeks then!"

You grin ferally at him and move to pin him down, straddling his hips and holding his arms against the headboard. Your long tail sways a bit and goes down to rub at the area behind you ever so lightly. John squirms and your grin grows, "Deal."

You flip John onto his stomach and pull his arms back. "You've been a pretty bad bunny, John," you purr as you lean over him, tongue darting out to lick the shell of his human ear. He whimpers.

You pull away a bit, but keep his hands pinned in place as you reach for a pair of handcuffs. You grab them and clip them on- maybe tightening them a little more than necessary.

You go back to the table and pull out a round metal harness meant to hold his mouth open. "Bad bunnies need to be punished, don't they?"

John nods.

"Good."

You put the gag in front of his mouth and he opens willingly, lips molding around the wide metal oval. You pull the velcro strap through and pat it lightly. As you sit back to admire what quick work you've made of John, you drag your sharp claws up under his shirt and down his back, applying enough force to make sure the stinging marks you both love so much are visible.

"So what should your punishment be? Should I fuck you fast and hard, until you're just begging me to cum?" you ask, pulling his boxers off. "Or should I just leave you hanging here? With a vibrator up your tight little ass and a cock ring on so you can't do anything about it?"

He shivers under you, but doesn't reply. You frown and pull him up by his hair, "Tick rock Bunbert, or I'll make the decision for you."

John looks at you with almost fearful eyes, whining just the slightest bit. "Ah-Ah don know!" he articulates as best as he can around the gag.

You scowl, "Wrong answer."

You push him back face down on a pillow and immediately go for the dresser. You grab a rubber ring and a tube of lubricant. Slipping the ring onto him, you start slicking your fingers.

You take your free hand and come up in front of him, ghosting over his throbbing member and up the front of his shirt. Slipping underneath it, you extend your claws and scratch up the middle of his torso, going all the way back down his pelvis and stopping just short of the curve of his ass- you deliver a sharp slap there before inserting two fingers without warning. The sound John makes puts all before it to shame.

Gog you've always loved how he responds to pain.

"You like that, huh?"

"A-Ah! Dave-!"

You frown and give a hard thrust with your fingers, scissoring them a bit. "Don't call me that. You need to earn the right to say my name."

He whines and twists around to look at you, "Wha ahm ah thuppothed to call you hen?"

Another thrust, "Figure it out, Bunbert. You're a smart bunny, right?"

"Bu-"

"Don't argue."

"Y-Yeh ah- mahter!"

With a smirk, you thrust again, this time aiming for his prostate. Fuck- you'd know where that spot is by now blindfolded. "Good bunny. Not that hard, was it?"

"Oh go- y-yeh mahter! Pleah do tha ahain!"

Your smirk twitches downwards, and you remove your fingers, this time reaching for a small remote control vibrator in the drawer. "Don't tell me what to do," you say with another sharp slap to his bottom before you push in the toy and turn it to 'low'.

"T-Thorry maht-" but he's cut off as you pull him up by the hair again. You undo the gag and push his head down to your boxers.

"Suck."

He looks up at you with the most innocent look before biting the waistband of your boxers and pulling down. "Yes master," he murmurs against your cock. His lips are a little unsteady from being held back against the gag for so long, but once he's there, his lips and tongue are all over you.

You let out a long overdue groan as he dives lower, taking you deep into his throat.

"Bite and I'll hit you," you say with a sneer.

John then does something that you thought (as a kid) was only possibly in porno: he gives you fucking puppy dog eyes as he takes more of you in, groaning and slobbering over you. Suddenly, his jaw closes a bit, and your hand comes down on his cheek.

He moans.

"I told you I would. You probably did that on purpose you little pain slut."

John bites down lightly again and you pull him off your cock. He looks down and murmurs something that you can't quite catch even with your extra set of ears. "What?"

John shifts his eyes back to you and repeats himself, his own ears flopped down covering his face in embarrassment; "I said that I was your little slut.."

You freeze, before smirking again. Your inner Dave, as well as your inner cat, are both pleased. "Glad you know your place." You pull him into a kiss, forcing your tongue inside his mouth almost immediately.

After a little while, you force him back onto his stomach. From there you can see his little black tail twitching almost violently. "I'm glad you know you're mine, but that doesn't change the fact that you were bad, John," you say, handing him the gag . He puts it on by himself, knowing that you him to.

Your tail is moving on its own now, trailing up and down John's calves with feather light touches. He shivers under the touch and arches up into you. "Ah'm thorry mahter!"

You _tsk_ and pull away, taking the lube and slicking it onto your neglected member. "Whaddaya say Bunbert, do you want my cock? Or do you want the toy?" You reach for the forgotten remote and turn it up to medium.

"Ah w-wahnt b-boh!"

You smirk and slap the delectable curve of his ass, and he just wiggles it, begging for more. "Greedy tonight are we?" _Smack-_

"Yeh mahter! Wha ever you say!"

You position yourself in front of his entrance and, yet again without warning, you thrust all the way in. John _screams_, and you can't help but groan at how tight he is- and with the toy in there too.. _Fuck_- you're not so sure why you two don't do this more often. You'll definitely have to remedy that after tonight.

Without a word you set a relatively fast pace, though it doesn't seem like John is complaining with his constant mewls and moans; but it's not enough. You bend over him and all but tear his shirt open, leaving more scratches up and down his arms and torso. "Why so quiet, Bunbert?"

He turns to place a sloppy hiss on your cheek, "Ah- Ah'm so- oh gog- I need mo-more!"

You're torn. On one hand you're thrilled that John is acting like this. Seriously, you doubt that there's anything sexier in this- or any other world. But... Another part of you is strangely not satisfied by this.

Damn cat.

You reach down for the remote- "Y'want more? Oh- I'll give you more-" and turn it to the highest setting, hands moving to grip his hips hard enough to leave bruises. You lift him up the slightest bit, to gain more leverage. "On your knees."

He complies, and you're able to thrust deeper, pushing the toy in even further against his prostate. "Is that enough for ya?" another thrust.

He arches his back and throws his head back, moaning loudly and half groaning something that sounds like "again!" or "a hen!" or some shit like that. Either way you take it as an agreement.

Soon the pressure in your stomach becomes almost unbearable distraction, preventing you from keeping a steady pace. You reposition your hands on John's hips and pull him in, thrusting deep as he clenches around you. Moaning, you grind into him, every last drop of release pouring into him.

You pull out and tilt him forward, turning the toy back down to 'low'. You ignore your inner cat and bend down, licking a thick path up his perineum, lapping up your spend. You grimance, but continue on; personally, you've never really liked the taste of your own cum- you much prefer John's. His is a lot less sweet, from years of avoiding baked goods and most other treats.

You circle once, before pushing in, tongue darting in and out- around his entrance then back inside. He moans and squeaks, but most sounds are covered up by the pillow he is burrowing into. You frown and pull away. He groans.

You bring a hand down hard on his plush rump and frown. "Louder."

He twists around to look at you panting, "Tho-Thomone migh ea-ear!"

Your frown grows into a a scowl and dig your nails into his hip, shoving him onto his back. "Do I give a shit?"

"Ma-"

"Don't argue. Or else I won't let you finish."

His eyes widen, "Thorry mahter!"

"Good. Now I better hear something or else I'm leaving you here."

He nods and lets out a choked sound as you bend down once more to grip at his neglected cock, sucking harshly at his head. John moans loudly, and the corners of your lips quirk up; you dive lower and take him all in. That earns you another loud moan. His legs hook together, wrapping around your shoulders and holding you in place. "A-Ah- mahter you'he _tho_ good to me!"

You smirk and bring your nails up to his thighs, running them roughly down all the way to his knees.

"Mah-Mahter can y-you take ohf te ring?" he pants.

You unhook his legs and sit up, drinking in his appetizingly disheveled appearance. His arms are still cuffed behind him and even in the dim light, you can tell that his face is bright red. There's saliva practically dribbling down his chin and as he pants, half from exertion and half from frustration. His legs are spread wide open, cock standing straight up and leaking at the purple head. The long black bunny ears he recently acquired perfectly compliments the large buck teeth almost puncturing his abused bottom lip, half buttoned blue flannel shirt hanging off both shoulders. You feel your cock get half hard again.

You smirk and kiss down his neck, biting down at the junction where his neck and shoulder meet. "Hmm, why not? You've been pretty good."

Your hand goes down to thumb his slit roughly, before slipping the rubber ring off. But before he can have the release he so desperately wants, you grip his length tightly, thumb coming up to cover the head of his cock.

John groans and squirms, virtually shaking in anticipation and frustration.

You quickly pump yourself to full mast and thrust into John again. He yelps and shivers, back arching up into an almost perfect semi-circle. You once more grab the vibrator's remote and turn it up to 'High' as you begin to thrust at a fast pace. With eyes screwed shut, he moans loudly, "Mah- ah! Mahter pleah- _oh gog_ Ah'm so close!"

You grunt and ignore his pleas as you run your rough tongue up and down his shoulders and neck, up his jawline and heel, lapping up the saliva that escaped his mouth earlier. Anything to permanently cement the taste of John Egbert into your taste buds. You roll one nipple under your free hand and begin thumbing his slit, never letting up the pressure.

He squirms and writhes under you, struggling against his bindings; "Mahter pleah i-i hurs! Pleah le me-"

"Louder, Bunbert," you grunt, feeling yourself near completion again.

"_Ah wa'a cum!_"

You bite down hard on his neck with your new sharp canines as you move your thumb away and begin furiously pumping him. John cums onto your stomachs with a shudder, your name on his lips as he coats you in white-opaque liquid. He clenches around you and you're cumming soon after.

You pull out and turn off the toy, ignoring the urge to just collapse on top of him. Panting, you wipe up some of the spend on your chests with your hand, giving it a taste. You bring it to John's mouth. He looks at it first with glazed over eyes, then to you.

"Clean up your mess, bunny."

He nods and arches up a bit, eagerly licking at your hand, panting and moaning lightly at all the right times. If you weren't already so tired, you probably would've wanted to go another round. He leans back down a little while and you inspect your hand, now more or less a slobbery mess because of the gag impeding his ability to swallow. Again, the Dave in you doesn't mind, but the cat in you scowls at your hand, and wipes it down John's scratched torso. You sigh and place a kiss on his now bleeding lower lip, sucking the excess blood away. You gently pull his head up and finally release the gag; he immediately goes to kiss you back. You pull away to wipe away the saliva on the corner of his mouth and smile.

He grins back, "Jegus Dave, that was... Wow."

You quickly unclip the handcuffs and bring his arms around you. He tightens his grip and you settle the hopelessly bedraggled sheets over yourselves. "Oh shit Dave, that was... Wow. You were so..."

You chuckle, "I've heard, bro."

"I mean it! I mean I'm not even pissed that I can't wear t-shirts for the next two weeks or so without someone asking me if I got mauled by a pack of cats."

You roll your eyes and kiss one of the many s ear he's along his arms, "Sorry man. You're just too damn scratchable. I'll go get the bandages and you start putting ointment, yeah? Don't want those getting infected."

You get off the bed and stick a hand in the bedside drawer yet again, pulling out a tube of Neosporin. You throw it at John and head to the door. Just before you can turn the knob though, a gasp, a rustling of the sheets and a creak of the bed stops you. You turn and find the bed empty. "John?"

You look around. _Closet。_

You make your way to said room and find John cowering in a corner. Crouching down beside him, you put a hand on his back feel that he's shaking like a leaf; ears standing on end and tail twitching like crazy. "Hey baby what's wrong?"

"Stu-stupid f-fi-fight or fli-fli-flight defense sy-system." He stutters. John stays curled up in a ball, but wraps his arms around you; you in turn pull him close, bringing one hand up to scratch the spot behind his ears.

"You hear someone?"

He nods shakily.

"Well I don't he-" your ears twitch up and your eyes dart to the bedroom door. It's barely noticeable even to your keen cat ears, but you can barely hear a gruff voice whispering something like 'They'll hear us!' or something of the sort.

Your arms tighten around John and kiss his forehead quickly more before pulling away, heading to the door. "Stay put. I'll check it out." you whisper as you extend your claws just in case.

Creeping out into the hall, you trace the origin of the noise to the bathroom. You tense your hand once more before pouncing into the room and flipping on the light.

The air is still for an awkward minute.

You quickly turn the lights off and close the door, heading straight to the kitchen for a bowl of milk. You set out an extra bowl, as well as one full of water. A host is a host whether or not his guests are expected after all. Wouldn't want to be rude.

You decide to wait on the poofy chair in front of the couch for them to finish.

You're not really surprised to find your bro and Jake in the house despite taking their extra key away from them months ago (Saturday morning brunch has never been quite the same ever since Jade and Nepeta got a hold of the key and made copies to hand out to everyone). Someone had to teach you to pick locks after all- and all that adventuring Jake does probably calls for breaking into locked rooms once in a while.

The fucking against the shower door was a new thing though.

A few minute later, the bathroom door creaks open and out comes a red faced Jake and the ever stoic Dirk, hair all ruffled and clothes wrinkled.

You gesture to the coffee table of beverages in front of the couch. They grab their respective drinks and settle on the couch across from you. "So... Care to explain why you broke into my apartment at four in the morning?"

Jake's ears spring up, and his tail starts wagging wildly, "Oh- golly I almost forgot! We have the greatest news!"

"And apparently it can't wait until morning."

"Well- Jade said as soon as possible, so... Anyways- she found it for friggs sake!" Jake is bouncing in his seat now with excitement. "The bloody counter-spell or whatever bollocks it is to turn us back to normal!"

"We got here about forty-five minutes ago, but we didn't want to interrupt you and John." You can just _feel_ the internal smirk he's giving you.

"If it makes you feel any better, we'd been going at it for twenty minutes when you came in, so we weren't listening the whole time!" Jake quips.

Your brother pinches the bridge of his nose, "Anyway, that's the message we needed to deliver. What say you we head over there now?"

You're silent, sipping at your milk and deciding what to do when you hear the soft padding of footsteps coming down the hall.

"...Hi Jake, Dirk.." John greets quietly from inside a cocoon of blankets. You open up your arms and he practical jumps into them, still shaking just a bit. He burrows his head into your collarbone and you him contentedly.

"'Ello John!" Jake waves enthusiastically. "I trust that you are quite okay? That sounded painful at some points!"

John gasps and suddenly there is a sharp pain where his teeth make contact with your skin again. "Mother fu- John! What did I say about biting without any warning?"

You can feel him pouting against your chest and licking tentatively at the spot. "Sorry.. I got surprised." he uncovers his head and twists a bit to look at his cousin. "D-Don't worry, I'm perfectly fine save for a few scratches..." and with that he's hiding again.

You bring a hand up to scratch his head absently, as you look at the two in front of you. "Hm.. Nah. Tomorrow morning. We'll head over after breakfast. I don't give a shit if you stay over, just don't get too loud. Fuck knows I'm tired as hell." You look down at John, now fast asleep on your chest. "I'm gonna get this little bunny to bed.. Bro do me a favor and grab the bandages in the medicine cabinet? Gotta make sure his scratches don't get infected."

Dirk rolls his eyes and flash-steps to the bathroom, returning with several rolls of bandages, gauze, cotton balls and rubbing alcohol. "Why so rough, lil' man?"

You stand up, staggering a bit under John's weight, but steady enough. Bro puts the supplies on his stomach, and you just walk inside the room. Before slamming the door behind you, you turn and smirk, bringing to mind the various scratches along Jake's body when you caught them in the bathroom.

"Of all people, you should know bro. Kitty doesn't like to share."

* * *

><p>Fun Fact (2): At some point as I was typing this, I got distracted, and instead of writing 'prostate' I wrote 'yay'<p>

Fun Fact (3): Second time for cock rings and/or handcuffs, and second time for any type of bondage. (...It was fun. I want to do more.) As well as my first time doing things animal-related. (Doesn't mean it's the last time..) Oh! And I think this is my first time writing for Dave extensively.

...You lucky little readers. Two updates in one night- and one is a lemon. Well... Enjoy it while it lasts. Tomorrow or the night after is probably the last time I'll be able to update/publish this quickly.


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